


is it by mistake or design?

by phichit-chu (howtobottlefame)



Category: Devilman (Anime & Manga)
Genre: Blood, Canon-Typical Violence, Canonical Character Death, M/M, Time Loop
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-17
Updated: 2018-01-17
Packaged: 2019-03-05 23:53:51
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 888
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13398942
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/howtobottlefame/pseuds/phichit-chu
Summary: In the wake of the war, Ryo weeps. Thinks, again. Please. Again. Distantly, he sees the meteors coming.-After the war ends, Ryo tries to reset time to get his way and still keep Akira by his side.





	is it by mistake or design?

In the wake of the war, Ryo weeps. Akira's body is stiff where he holds him, cold where it had always been warm, where it had been vibrant and beautiful and alive. He thinks, maybe, with enough power he can will him back to life. Maybe if he really wants to. He does. More than anything. What's a human life against the power of an angel? Akira's skin is wet where he rests his head against his chest. Thinks, again. Please. Again. Distantly, he sees the meteors coming.

-

He startles awake, gasping for breath, his hands scrambling for something to ground him. He feels silk bedsheets slip between his fingers, the edges of his vision starting to focus again, making sense of the angles and shapes of his bedroom. His bare chest is cold where the sheets have slipped down, but there's warmth covering his waist, tangling his legs. "Akira," the word slips breathless out of him, ice cold and like a shock. Akira grunts but doesn't wake up, barely stirring to tighten his arm around his middle. A bad dream, he thinks, through the pounding in his head. No, not this time. He holds onto the memories like a lifeline, terrified they'll slip away from him like the details of a dream in the morning. But it's not a dream. He knows this now. He won't forget. Thinks, I'll make it count.

-

There's no video. The government anouncement is just that, a warning. Akira's name is never mentioned, his secret is kept safe with him. He'll protect him, just like he always did.

The girl lives, no one comes after her. Still, her presence weighs on Akira too much, a sense of debt or compromise or something else Ryo doesn't understand keeping Akira anchored to her, to the humans. He wishes to fight for her, despite how pointless it is. Humans are weak, frail, and in the end her blood spills anyway, despite how hard Akira clings to her, despite his own golden blood mixing with hers. Human, dirty. Akira doesn't understand. In the end, the meteors come. Ryo holds whatever's left of Akira, presses him tight to his chest and thinks the tears come easier this time. Thinks, again. 

-

Akira's tears are hot where they roll down his cheeks and Ryo wipes them away. "It's what I tried to make you understand," he keeps his voice low, careful, like someone not wanting to scare away a stray cat. "It's in their nature, cruelty, self-destruction. They'll try to get you and kill themselves in the process. Look what they've done to her." He notices the way Akira's arms tigthen around what's left of the girl, protective. There's a pang of envy in his chest that he pushes away. "It was the humans that did this. Not us."

When Akira finally meets his gaze there's a terrible look in his eyes, despair, betrayal, a sadness he hasn't seen in him before and he wants desperately to wipe away. But there's resolution there, too, a sense of determination, and Ryo thinks it's enough. He'll grieve and forget about her. Akira understands him now. It's enough.

-

The war is easy, with Akira by his side. Everything is. The humans fall, and the demons take what's rightfully theirs. The strong have won, like it's nature's law. He goes to the pier and waits for him. From there he can see perfectly the fall of man, the chaos, the fire. He sees his plan, finally come to fruition, finally with Akira. He waits.

There's a flash of light from the sky and Ryo's eyes grow wide. "No... Not yet." He looks around, desperately. "Akira." He waits for him, he needs to come back so he can take them both away, where they could be safe. "Akira!" His voice carries easily but no answer comes. "Akira!" He sees the first meteor seconds before it strikes and thinks please, let me try again.

-

He tries to do the same thing, tries to get to Akira by throwing salt into his wound, by using his love for the girl against him, but where he got understanding before he only gets anger now, gets Akira lashing out at him, blaming him. Ryo, doesn't understand. His hands were never on the girl, her death had nothing to do with him. Still, Akira fights, all claws and teeth, all unrestrained power, fueled by his grief.

The world falls beneath the two of them, beneath the sheer strength of their blows. Humans and demons are caught in the crossfire without distinction, the ground cracking and eating cities whole. In the end, it's just the two of them, blow after blow, until molten gold covers them both and Ryo can't tell whose blood it is.

In the end, it's the pier again, where they first met, where they have ended every single time. He thinks it's only fitting. In the end, they both lack the strength to try again. They lie side by side, covered in each other's blood and watching the rabbit on the moon. All the humans are gone, and so are the demons. It's just the two of them. When Ryo reaches for his hand, Akira lets him, his fingers still warm where they curl against his own. When the meteors come, Ryo smiles and doesn't think.

**Author's Note:**

> I just finished rewatching crybaby and I really wanted to write something for it. I did it really fast so I hope what I tried to do makes sense. I love the idea that making Ryo relive it all over again with the same outcome is God's punishment for what he did.  
> Title from born to die by lana del rey  
> Kudos and comments are greatly appreciated! ♡


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